"You know how you meet those girls? The ones who claim they only get along with guys, and say can't they get along with girls because we are all dramatic or bitchy,etc. You know what I always want to say to them: Do you ever think that it's because of the insecurities within yourself that you can't get along with other girls? There are so many ladies out there, who get along fine with the others. Maybe it's you. Maybe you're the one who is dramatic & bitchy. Not the rest of us." -JP
This has stuck with me since I first heard it. You see it everywhere you go: girls are judging one another, making each other feel bad, trying to bring each other down to make themselves feel better. I had a recent experience that exploded after a long time of build up, and sitting down now evaluating everything about it... all that I can think is:
Thank God I am surrounded by amazing, supportive, intelligent, lovely
I will be the first to admit I haven't always been the nicest girl myself. I've been immature, I've been catty, I'm sure I've hurt some feelings. I'm not proud of these things. I was young; I made some mistakes, we all do. Yet now that I am in a completely different phase of my life I am able to appreciate how much further everyone gets by just being kind, encouraging adults.
Growing up in a small town it goes without saying that just because everyone knows each other - doesn't mean you like each other. There are girl fights over boyfriends, fights over class projects, fights over clothes, fights over prom committee, ...there are a lot of fights! hahah But that's middle school & high school. You'd think that once you're done high school, and move up and on, you leave that stuff behind.
Girllll, we were WRONG. It is shocking to me that even out in the "real world" (even post-University) you encounter these females who just have so many personal insecurities that they wrap themselves up in bringing everyone else down. Don't you just want to shake them & say get over yourself?! And they're everywhere! They're at work, they're at the gym, they're in the washroom of the bar, they're in the elevator of your building, they're behind you in the grocery store line up.
It seems like you just can't get away from them.
So what can you do about them? It's a tricky question. I can't even begin to pretend like I have an answer. What I can say is that it is mostly important to recognize the behaviours of these people, and try to avoid doing them ourselves. You know the saying, "You are the company you keep" ...? This definitely rings true for anyone in your life, but especially for us ladies. It is frustrating to see wonderful people who surround themselves with other females who are arrogant, who lack a moral compass, who are unmotivated, flat out rude, and mostly who are negative. These qualities tend to rub off on others and if you are subjecting yourself to it regularly, eventually you will probably be an unpleasantry too.
An article was passed on to me today & this was part of it:
"Spend your time with nice people who are smart, driven and like-minded. Surround yourself with the people who reflect the person you want to be. Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you." ... "Some people will test you, some will use you, and some will teach you; but most importantly some will bring out the best in you."
...when it comes to female friendships I'm not sure there needs to be much more to it then that! It's really not as complicated as - for whatever reason - so many of us have been trapped into making it.
I really just wanted to write this today to remind all of us ladies (and realistically, all the guys out there too!) that sometimes it doesn't hurt to take a big long look in the mirror; to evaluate ourselves, and those we surround ourselves with. If there are females of questionable character, there is no time like the now to be a grown up and make an important decision as to whether or not this insecure person & their negativity is something you really want in your own life for long term. Chances are, it's not.